well that's the riddle/equation i'm trying to solve right now....many of u must definetly be askin "Why the heck such a equation??"


To explain more, let's flash back to TP Jam & Hop 2006...where I was co-emcee with Victor aka knitecralwer =)........both of us have our own styles of warming up the crowd, but w/o any rehearsal of program flow,constant last-minute changes,first-time partnership w him as well as inexperience led us to be flop emcees....to be honest i was utterly gutted about it...i mean, if i want to achieve my lifetime dream of being involved in the football media world either as broadcaster,pundit,commentator or journalist..then surely i've got to do alot better than this...but on the day it counted (for a while at least), I fell short, off the mark TOTALLY....man now doesn't that feel like shit....hence the moody feeling....


now 2ndly, why confused? Gd question...somehow i'm thinking that i'm just going in blindly into things. I mean, if weekends are days where it's off-limits to MOST PEOPLE(and surprisingly, it includes me too) EXCEPT family..and if i'm wanted to be around for a rare weekend outing, then PLEASE LEMME KNOW BEFOREHAND...serious, can't expect me to ask every week whether a weekend outing slot is open to public.

If I have to ask like this, then serious doubts are cast around me right now...YES i may be busy during weekends(including this week's, where i'm involved in TP Open House/Jam & Hop), but at least try asking me beforehand whether i'm free then..I would have tried to open a slot for an outing..YES I might not be avalible even if asked, but AT LEAST the avenue of possibility had been explored..sheesh..People should know their schedule at least 2 days beforehand, and i finished filming offficially on Thursday....so couldn't I be asked then?


If my mates wanna play football w me, they'll call the day before at least..

If my NUFC-SG lads wanna chill out or hang out for gathering, they'll also call a day before at least...

TPSU meetings are USUALLY notified 7 days prior to actual date..


so right now...3 feelings running inside me.....can I just go back to the 19th January 2006, where everything seemed so surreal?