well...crossroads, here we are again..or at least that's where i am right now?...i feel like somehow im breaking promises every single day..and it sucks..really does! first up for "Broken Promises" is the regular updating of my blog..i haven't been doing it for ages..and it seems,somehow,everytime i blog nowadays..it's about something bad..

Unfortunately for me, and maybe the readers(if any, that is)....no changes to the pattern as for now...

Seems abit of the Term tests stress is coming up on me now...first up: Java Proficiency..thought i could AT LEAST do well in that paper, get maybe a 60-70% to cover up for failure in my 2nd quiz and to set me off on the right road for a hopefully-B grade-filled semester end this time around..same for Enterprise Database Design(EDD), my 2nd paper which ended just today...but hey guess what?? I flunked both papers so badly i'll only get a just-passed grade of 55% tops most probs...SHEESH man!! feel the worst for EDD as i felt i was quite ok,judging from the lab sessions i had every Monday, though there're always mountains higher than yourself(in this case, SQL Pok n SQL Teo =x..hah)...but with this, i think my dream GPA target of 3.2 is up in the wind..and with it comes "Broken Promise" no. 2--breaking my promise of studying real hard to obtain gd GPA to go SIM and pursue a dream degree in Mass Communications...

well it doesn't end here...surprise surprise..turns out someone is not a big fan of Christmas...I'm not sure why i don't like it as well? maybe it's just the fact that i cant embrace the spirit of sharing as like everyone else...which just translate to "I'm FREAKING BROKE!!!"...man that statement is so true...i can't even buy X'mas cards to send out to dear friends of mine (with this, i wanna acknowledge publicly..VALERIE TEO PEI YIN, i've received your card..and many thanks for it..will try to dig out the $$$ to get u one also..=)..MERRY X'MAS).....sighz,ironic isn't it..i can't share the spirit, yet i'm actually reciting out the tagline of the entire festival itself...

Now linked to this point above is the fact that I can't buy the 1 present i know will make my darling happy...and i mean VERY VERY HAPPY...won't reveal the exact details of it..but it's been something she wanted for a long time..but gosh..when i went to check the pricetag for it today...it costs at least a WHOPPING SG$60-SG$100 at least...go ahead and laugh people, but i just don't have such amounts of money with me...so with this said..what am i supposed to do?get her chocs and say "Merry X'mas..."??...nah not my style..and yes im due for a change, but somehow the stubborness within me refuses....class must go with appreciation..no matter how much the cost..i'm committed to making my GF happy..but if i have no $$$...how the f*ck am i gonna make her happy? I myself am paying off debts caused by my feisty desire for exotic football jerseys everywhere....sighz.."Broken Promise" no.3--not able to give her what she want..or in short, happiness


3 broken promises already..and somehow i feel i'm not done..but right now that's all i can think of...VERY VERY GOOD friends i owe my sanity to are people like: Kenneth "Kinnis" Tay, Xavier "Xabi" Tang, Kelvin "Liverpool" Lim...Sook "Tng" Chin..and in a seperate category..Serene "darling" Wong....but well...the DES side of my friends aren't doing so well now...quoting from the internet..i'm apparently "not as nice as he should be"....and to add insult to injury..i just f*ckin pissed my GF off....not that i don't wanna share w her and/or act like i'm some shitass...but such BIG thoughts like this aren't really SMS material...or SMS length since i'm on the topic...+ she has to conference w Tng and whoever else is on the other side....so how am i going to get my msg across?can't be email mah..

sighz...X'mas just brings alot of things into perspective for me...no $$$ to get into the spirit...and term tests around to simply destroy it all...what could get worse...break-up from a nearing-5month relationship??

alot of people see me as Superman...haha and i appreciate that...as i'm achieving my motto of makin ppl happy...but like Five For Fighting sang it:

It might sound absurd
But don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed
But won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me

so to end off....wanna shout out to:

Valerie Teo: thanks for the X'mas card, and your friendship/support from OTC all the way to this upcoming OTC....i'll try to get the $$$ to get u a card..but at least i know Santa's delivered ur "wishes" for ya..u know what i mean..*winks*...Merry X'mas again..

Serene Wong: i'm sorry sweetheart, for pissing the shit out of ya..but try to understand..if it was so easy saying it all...i would have....*shakes head*...Tay is right..."Water Spilled can never be poured back into the cup"...i can't take back what i've done...will jus wait and see what your response is ba...

Sook "Tng" Chin: *shakes head again*...you're right..i may nt have been the nicest i could be...but at least let me know where i fouled up..remember....u're 1 of the few who kick some bullcrap sense into me when needed..so don't just say...tell me!!!

ANYBODY LINKED W OTC 05/06: as usual...whether i'm in this state of severe depression or not..i'll expect to see all of ya at OTC proper...so watch that X'mas hangover..and i'll see u all 28th this month...



so with all that said....best of luck to those who have exams/assignments/what-have-you to settle before TP's term break....and Merry X'mas again..or for my side the lack of it...